Deliberately Nurturing

When met with the daily task of parenting I am often reminded that all of life’s situations serve the purpose of your spiritual evolvement. However, when you are tasked to go within yourself in search of the emotional lessons during a common reoccurring show down of parent vs kid; everything that happens to you is significant. Am I still parenting myself? Hell yes! Do I feel like I am a good parent considering all of my faults? Absolutely! Nevertheless, am I often triggered by parenting? Yes, yes, yes! To be honest, my children are growing me up. They are maturing me in ways that my childhood left no room for. The sad byproduct of a parent with unmet needs is the humbling realization that I can either be completely authentic or perpetually embarrassed. So I choose to respectfully surrender my wills to the power of accepting myself (flaws + all) so that I can selflessly accept my children in all of their wonderful glory.

I yearn to give my children the permission to operate from a space of intrinsic connectivity so that my children don’t need to seek validation externally. I am learning that the relationship between me and my children exists for my transformation + their evolution. This realization has been so humbling that often I’ve hugged strangers in the midst of their own transformation while witnessing the struggles of parenting. Despite our best intentions, we can enslave our children due to the emotional inheritance we received from our parents leaving a legacy of unbearable trauma they would never be able to overcome in one lifetime. Our only goal is to give them the agency to be their own person as we reclaim the person we were always meant to be.

Only through awareness can the cycle of pain dissipate. Becoming aware of our attachment to emotions + how our ego gets channeled through how we deal with our children allows you to notice yourself in moments when you don’t feel safe. Self-discovery is essential when establishing healthy, loving relationships with your children that allow you to raise them + attend to your own development without projecting your opinions of how things should be. Attending to myself has allowed me to mirror my children’s wholeness so that they can realize who they are. As I learn to surrender to life’s difficulties + see them as blessings, I recognize the joy of growing up all over again.