Embracing Growth and Togetherness
My wife and I are approaching a beautiful milestone: our marriage anniversary. With six children between us, we've journeyed through countless challenges and celebrated many triumphs.
Read MoreFamily Ties and Lessons Learned Along the Way
The journey of being in community with my parents has been nothing short of, let’s just say, interesting. For most of my life, I've rarely had both of them present at the same time, and now is no different. When my father came back into my life during COVID, it felt like a turning point.
Read MoreRediscovering The Woman I Always Knew
Lately, I haven't felt like myself. A recent conversation with my astrologer changed that. She lovingly asked me, "Do you feel like you show up as yourself?" I had to admit that while I might feel authentic on date nights, most of the time—whether I'm seeing clients or just going about my day—I feel like I'm wearing a uniform.
Read MoreFalling in Love with Myself
As a Black woman, the complexities of our experiences are both profound and deeply nuanced. We are often the pillars of our families and communities, socialized and indoctrinated to be caregivers, nurturers, and the steadfast shoulders upon which others lean
Read MoreEmbracing Joy and Rest
Rest and joy have become my guiding lights, my ministry. I discovered their transformative power during one of the darkest periods of my life, right after my first marriage ended. With my kids' father gone, I faced the daunting task of starting over. In that turbulent season, it was reading and seeking joy that sustained me. I vividly recall the relentless pursuit of happiness, finding reasons to smile even when it felt impossible.
Read MoreRaising My Son Beyond Stereotypes
Watching my son mature has been a deeply moving experience, not just because he is my son, but because he has blossomed in his own unique time. As a Black queer woman, I approach parenting with a heightened awareness of the historical weight carried by Black boys.
Read MoreThe Ironic Day For Mother's
I'm a bit late in penning this post, but honesty is always the best policy, right? Mother's Day took on a different hue for me this year. While my children and wife never fail to shower me with love, it's also a time for reflection, a dive into the complexities of my role as a mother, influenced not only by my personal experiences but also by the intricate threads of matrilineal lineage.
Read MoreCelebrating The Next Chapter ...Fifty!
As I reflect on my journey through my thirties and eagerly anticipate the dawn of my forties, I can't help but marvel at how life has surpassed my expectations. In those earlier years, I had a clear vision of the woman, wife, and mother I aspired to be.
Read MoreNegotiating Love: Unpacking Our Baggage
Parental wounds, huh? They're like these deep grooves carved into our souls, especially when you've felt their sting firsthand. My wife and I are no strangers to this. We've spent countless hours unpacking the baggage from our relationships with our folks, especially our moms.
Read MoreJourneying Together Without Role Models
Navigating marriage, pursuing my passion, and aiding others in their journeys has been a profound commitment. My wife and I embarked on this path without the guidance of role models, dedicating ourselves wholeheartedly to personal growth.
Read MoreHealing from a Legacy of Anger
As a Black woman raised by a single mother, navigating the complexities of my family history has been an integral part of my journey. Growing up, I witnessed firsthand the destructive power of anger woven into the fabric of our family lineage. My father's abusive behavior towards my mother left scars not only on her body but also on my psyche.
Read MoreWorthy of Love: A Journey Rekindled
Before my wife and I reunited and embarked on this journey toward marriage, I held onto a profound belief in my inherent worthiness of love. It wasn't just a hope or a fleeting desire; it was a conviction that resonated deep within my soul. Despite finding contentment in my solitude, there was a quiet anticipation building within me, like the calm before a gentle storm, signaling that love was on its way.
Read MoreChoosing Love Purposefully
In my quest for longevity and fulfillment, I've come to realize that the cornerstone of such a life lies in the profound embrace of love. Reflecting on my journey, I can't pinpoint the exact moment when this revelation dawned upon me, but I vividly recall witnessing my mother's valiant struggle with love—a journey marked by single-handedly raising me, shouldering the burden of caring for her family, all while neglecting her own needs and battling with the shadows of depression.
Read MoreUnveiling Love
As a Black queer woman, I've traversed a complex landscape of love, identity, and understanding within the context of my marriage. I vividly recall observing my wife's interactions with her nephews, sensing a tender longing for something she felt she lacked. Despite her deep love for her father, their relationship was shadowed by the complexities of alcoholism, divorce, and a blended family.
Read MoreCrafting Love Beyond Blueprints
Embark on a riveting exploration into the intricate tapestry of love—a journey that defies conventional norms and redefines the very essence of connection. In the shadows of my upbringing, where love was laden with invisible strings, and my wife's struggle to reconcile her authentic self with societal expectations, we found ourselves navigating uncharted waters.
Read MoreDear Readers, We're Back!
After a brief hiatus filled with life's twists and turns, I'm ecstatic to share some exciting news. Starting next year, our weekly blog rendezvous resumes! Brace yourselves for the grand return with THREE new posts on January 1st. 🎉
Read MoreMaintaining Friendships As You Get Older
Maintaining friendships as we age can be challenging, but it's essential for our mental health and well-being. In this blog, we'll explore why friendships can be hard to maintain as we age and share some tips for staying connected with the people we care about. We'll also discuss the importance of having friends who are easy to be around and genuinely love spending time with and how this can make staying connected much more accessible.
Read MoreConnection makes all the difference
Being married when it is done correctly changes everyone involved. As I get older, I recognize that marriage is a container that isn’t always open to drink from. People hide their true selves under the microscope of perfection. It makes it impossible for other people to grow and learn how to live in a liberating way. My wife and I have grown in the face of confusion and disappointment, and we have learned about the daily practice of sacred love. Contemplating how we love and what we need to be the best version of ourselves, we create intimacy, communicate and, of course, go to therapy.
Read MoreThe products we become...
I am product of abuse. Physical. Emotional. Sexual. I say this because most of my life, I would never have admitted such a truth. I would have made it sound more colorful, delightful so that it would be more palatable to digest. I would have danced around the verity of knowing that the pain I have endured didn’t start with me. It began with a trembling urgency to break free, it lingered in exchanges that were damaged from survival, it is suspended in generations that will not allow the pain to visit long enough to heal it. I am a guest in my family. They just don’t know it.
Read MoreOvercoming
I did not grow up with my parents staying together. It was one of the things that I missed the most. Not them specifically being together, but the idea of a love so expansive that it survives. I would have settled for a divorce coupled with a reconciliation that echoes “We did it.” It never happened + I never got to see two people making it, in + out of love. I missed that. It was not like I was a child that whispered, “God please keep my parents together.” I often prayed the opposite + hoped that they find peace individually. However, as I got older, I begin to see that relationships are this complex narrative that everyone tries to figure out. Some people never figure it out because they in no way make it to the part that ends in completion. It just stops. Abruptly sometimes, but all at once. Sometimes it ends so rapidly, everything comes undone + nothing can be salvaged. I was hoping that my parents could reclaim a few things left from the wreckage. But they never survived.
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