To be a woman that is unequivocally sure of herself you must be firm + reserve only the tender parts of yourself for people who have earned the right to benefit from it. The truth is to be a black, queer, woman you must learn quickly that you must walk quiet with a big stick. You can’t leave anything on the table not even a possibility for an opportunity. You must be prepared to walk away from friends + family at any moment; especially if they are interfering with the woman you are becoming. Its complicated! You must push your children to grow up + not lean to hard on you unless you give way to their desires + ultimately forget about yours. You must love your spouse with your whole heart + refuse to allow fear to keep you from committing + forgiving. God damn is it complicated!