Connection makes all the difference

September 06, 2022 by Ikeranda Smith in black mothers, generational healing, LGBTQIA, love, marriage, queer, purpose

Being married when it is done correctly changes everyone involved. As I get older, I recognize that marriage is a container that isn’t always open to drink from. People hide their true selves under the microscope of perfection. It makes it impossible for other people to grow and learn how to live in a liberating way. My wife and I have grown in the face of confusion and disappointment, and we have learned about the daily practice of sacred love. Contemplating how we love and what we need to be the best version of ourselves, we create intimacy, communicate and, of course, go to therapy.

The Call To Love

October 05, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, marriage, loveislove, love, relationships, spirituality

Love is something that I am learning to reverence with humility when faced with my fears. I am recognizing that standing in love is not the problem; instead its remaining still when the foundation can be easily swallowed by my ego or trampled by my pride. Some days I marvel at how far we’ve come trapped beneath all of these unmet needs + endless triggers. It’s like trying to find safety in the midst of a hurricane. I admit I have no idea how your patience holds an appetite once I’ve swallowed it whole. I acknowledge that I am afraid of the constant shifting. I wonder how things will unfold as we evolve + will our intention remain the same; pure + devoted.

Divine Love

September 21, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, relationships, spirituality

Relationships are so delicate + crafted by every other relationship we have experienced or the lack thereof. My wife + I often speak of how we discard people for seemingly better designs. We often think our partners will take the place of our friendships or vice versa, but truthfully all relationships have their own special space. Every dynamic deserves its own reverence. Relationships are holy. Every. Single. One.

Loving You Is Communion

August 31, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, love, LGBTQIA, loveislove, marriage, queer, relationships

When I look at you I am reminded of all the petitions I have asked of the Creator. You + I are so non-traditional; yet we are anchored in love. Not the adoration that is whimsical drenched in false narratives. Not the admiration that lives for the surface dynamics with massive amounts of sex without substance. We aren’t even the appreciation that only speaks of the good because those of us that are really breaking generational trauma fully understand that love is far from cliché + if you are making it work you are doing everything different than what your family did.

The Quest To Model Healthy Love

August 24, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in love, loveislove, marriage, queer, relationships

We have known each other for years, but we learn more about one another daily. Raising children while raising ourselves + nurturing our union has been quite a juggling act. We have recognized that our union is always the focus. We must stay together + model healthy love not just for us but for other black queer couples. Falling in love with a fallacy is the demise of black families because we fail for an image that we never created. So we are all trying to make peace with a narrative that escaped the ship when the rest of our ancestors did.