Embracing Growth and Togetherness
My wife and I are approaching a beautiful milestone: our marriage anniversary. With six children between us, we've journeyed through countless challenges and celebrated many triumphs.
Read MoreCelebrating Pride
As we celebrate Pride Month, I want to take a moment to share a bit about my journey as a Queer Black woman navigating the intersections of life. For many of us in the LGBTQIA+ community, our experiences are diverse. Some navigate the world freely, while others live their lives more anonymously. Yet, a shared experience for many of us is the need to come out multiple times, even after our initial coming out.
Read MoreWorthy of Love: A Journey Rekindled
Before my wife and I reunited and embarked on this journey toward marriage, I held onto a profound belief in my inherent worthiness of love. It wasn't just a hope or a fleeting desire; it was a conviction that resonated deep within my soul. Despite finding contentment in my solitude, there was a quiet anticipation building within me, like the calm before a gentle storm, signaling that love was on its way.
Read MoreConnection makes all the difference
Being married when it is done correctly changes everyone involved. As I get older, I recognize that marriage is a container that isn’t always open to drink from. People hide their true selves under the microscope of perfection. It makes it impossible for other people to grow and learn how to live in a liberating way. My wife and I have grown in the face of confusion and disappointment, and we have learned about the daily practice of sacred love. Contemplating how we love and what we need to be the best version of ourselves, we create intimacy, communicate and, of course, go to therapy.
Read MoreLife?!
If I could be honest, I haven’t always been aware of my blackness. It was something that I witnessed all of my life along with the perils of watching others carry the burden of being black, but me…I never understood my blackness. My parents were born during a time where there was no way in the hell you could not be aware of your blackness. It was a time when you dare not be conscious of your blackness. A period where, “are you out of your mind, you’s black!” type of era. It was obvious that they didn’t want to live being black + now explain it to me what it was going to represent to me when clearly I had not lived their working day as of yet.
Read MoreKeep Me Young
As I get older, I realize that I need to remain young + free. I need to hear only my voice in my head at all times. Although in love, I remain humble. Open to the possibilities with a heart dedicated to service + forgiveness. My heart craves gentle embraces coupled with bursts of laughter that feed my inner child. You provide that. I thank you. I am reminded of my prayers when you look at me during times when I am struggling to understand the next lesson in life. You look deeply into my soul + remind me that I am capable of whatever it is that I am trying to master. I appreciate that. You give me guidance without the need to control my decisions which allows me to soar to my highest potential.
Read MoreReady For Love
I have always been ready for love even when I wasn’t as prepared as I would have liked to be. I desired love to fill the empty parts of me without me doing the work of pouring into my own vessel. I was actually incomplete when I met my wife many suns ago. I didn’t realize that wanting something doesn’t necessarily mean that you deserve it. I wanted something that I had not given myself. The nerve of me right? All fractured + frantic for someone not understanding the work that it really required.
Read MoreMutual
This picture is such a true depiction of you. Always unbothered + beautiful with just enough audacity to be everything for me. Even on days when I try to convince myself that God made a mistake, you show up with a hand full of grace + a heart full of compassion. I’ve learned that loving you is like saying a prayer that is answered daily. I love you proudly + intimately bearing witness to the work the Creator is doing in your life. You anchor everything in love + for that I am grateful.
Read MoreReflections
I am understanding that you must respect truth + all the many forms that it comes in. Pain is pervasive sometimes in that it surfaces through the most joyous moments. I honor that truth even though it can be fragile, frayed with jagged edges promising not to injure once it released…it does…at least …sometimes! Nevertheless, I take a deep breath daily as I listen to the pain of various people. Hoping not to see another failed relationship. So I hold space until we as people can ground ourselves in love + accountability. Truth always maims even when you are aware of it. It amputates limbs that have been used to oppress others from recycled trauma. It’s complicated!
Read MorePreparing For A New Season
At some point in life, you wake up + realize that everything you desire must be obtained on your own. This sentiment gathers me because I realize that so many people are holding on to things they should have already released. We make things difficult for fear of having to face ourselves. We much prefer to help others see themselves by gently turning the mirror towards the face of a reflection we haven’t recognized in ourselves yet. Its complicated! I wish people understood that the way to freedom is to turn inward. Perhaps if people had a choice to save their life or the life of another person they would unequivocally redeem someone else for fear of not being enough.
Read MoreMeditate
My mind is often consumed with petitions graciously offered up to the Creator. It is important to remain in my lane with the awareness that I am constantly becoming. I have tried to simplify my mission, clarify my space + the individuals in it. I’m speaking of modifying my distractions + the amount of times I have to re-learn the same lesson. I am conveying the only thing that matters to me is showing up for me. If it seems selfish then clearly you lack boundaries, your filter is low + you are dolling out obligations to people that are getting you further away from your goals. I suggest that all people choose themselves.. First! Healing is imminent whether you accept it or not.
Read MoreConsistency + Abundance = Love
There are times in life when all you know to do is surrender. Surrender to the process. the pain, the hurt + the uncertainty all in an effort to do something different while saving an entire generation. When I chose this life, this time I was sure that I wanted to live it “in love.” Not for the sake of companionship, but for the sake of growth, purpose + ease. I didn’t want to spend my life in a space of selfishness, although it was tempting. I wanted to grow. Despite sometimes being scared, I wanted to see if I was capable of being more than a liar, a cheater, a spoiled insecure black woman that needed someone to validate me. I wanted to see if I was capable of putting someone before my kids, my family + my career just for me to see the best in myself. Its entirely too complicated for this blog post.
Read MoreLove During A Pandemic
With the recent pandemic my wife + I have been creating moments to find more intimacy. You know the instances where you speak with no words; yet you understand one another. Since the kids have been home with remote learning we have made a concerted effort to stay connected because we understand that during these difficult times it is easy to lose sight of things. With a house full of HSP’s (highly sensitive people) we all must find moments to create laughter, love + tons of compassion. However, the joy is my wife + I beginning to ride this invisible wave of understanding despite children + careers. We have started to recognize the importance of loving each other through difficult moments even when we don’t want to.
Read MoreForgiveness: The New Antidote
Making relationships work with another human being comes at a high price especially when you are trying to do something you have never witnessed. Partnerships are messy, raising children can be complicated + loving yourself in the process of unpacking another individual’s trauma can bring about a whole new set of challenges. I am convinced that Spirit had a sense of humor when they constructed the beautiful idea of connecting with another individual.
Read MoreLoving You Is Communion
When I look at you I am reminded of all the petitions I have asked of the Creator. You + I are so non-traditional; yet we are anchored in love. Not the adoration that is whimsical drenched in false narratives. Not the admiration that lives for the surface dynamics with massive amounts of sex without substance. We aren’t even the appreciation that only speaks of the good because those of us that are really breaking generational trauma fully understand that love is far from cliché + if you are making it work you are doing everything different than what your family did.
Read MoreThe Quest To Model Healthy Love
We have known each other for years, but we learn more about one another daily. Raising children while raising ourselves + nurturing our union has been quite a juggling act. We have recognized that our union is always the focus. We must stay together + model healthy love not just for us but for other black queer couples. Falling in love with a fallacy is the demise of black families because we fail for an image that we never created. So we are all trying to make peace with a narrative that escaped the ship when the rest of our ancestors did.
Read MoreThe Weight of Being Black In Unprecedented Times
I wish I could be surprised at how pervasive hate is distributed daily. How it lingers in dark spaces waiting to dismantle souls and glorify the same fear it unleashes onto innocent human beings. I am convinced that self-deprecation is a substance that people ingest when they desire to make others a target. Somewhere in America an individual is utilizing self- destructive behavior to create the most heinous war on black people that even their mere presence is a battlefield.
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Friendships
This relationship started from a simple email sent all the way from Nairobi, Kenya 🇰🇪 from a beautiful light that decided to take a chance on building a friendship. Who knew? Who knew that we would have a mutual affinity for one another? Who knew that as soon as she had a business trip to the states that it was imperative that we share time + space?
Read MoreBlack Love Always
When I decided to love you I asked the Creator one thing + that was to sustain our love. To give us back every year that our parents spent separated + divorced due to addiction. I asked for intentional presence that despite every hurdle we drew closer together. Proximity is everything with you! I asked for us to dwell in love + even when it seemed difficult that it would surface in the last place we put it.
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