Family Ties and Lessons Learned Along the Way

The journey of being in community with my parents has been nothing short of, let’s just say, interesting. For most of my life, I've rarely had both of them present at the same time, and now is no different. When my father came back into my life during COVID, it felt like a turning point. For a brief moment, it seemed like I finally had both of my parents in my life. My mom and dad were getting along, navigating a budding friendship. But then they had a disagreement, and honestly, they never recovered from it.

This situation highlighted why my mom and I have struggled. It's not necessarily because of any specific issue between us, but more about her inability to let things go. She doesn’t know how to forgive, and most importantly, she isn’t doing any healing work to grow beyond her own perspective. My father and I have talked about this extensively. We've decided that we choose to be in each other's lives, and while I hope my mom will eventually feel the same, life is too short to dwell on things we can’t control.

When my father reentered my life, it was a surreal experience. After years of his absence, seeing him again brought a mix of emotions. We spent time catching up, sharing stories, and rebuilding our relationship. It felt like I was getting to know a new person while reconnecting with a long-lost part of myself. My mom was initially supportive of this renewed bond, which made me hopeful for a united family dynamic.

However, the fallout from their disagreement was swift and painful. It was a stark reminder of the deep-seated issues that had kept them apart for so long. My mom's inability to move past the argument left me feeling caught in the middle. I wanted to bridge the gap between them, but it became clear that my mom was not ready or willing to heal. Her resistance to forgiveness and personal growth has always been a barrier in our relationship.

Despite this, my father and I have made a conscious decision to focus on our relationship. We've had many heart-to-heart conversations about our past, our mistakes, and our hopes for the future. We've both agreed that we want to be part of each other's lives, no matter the challenges. It's a commitment to love and understanding that I deeply cherish. While I still hope that my mom will come around, I understand that I can't force her to change.

Ultimately, life is too short to be consumed by things beyond our control. My father and I choose to embrace the present, finding joy in the moments we share. It's a lesson in acceptance and resilience. We can't change the past or dictate how others will act, but we can decide how we respond. Our journey is one of healing and reconciliation, even if it's imperfect and ongoing.