Raising My Son Beyond Stereotypes

Watching my son mature has been a deeply moving experience, not just because he is my son, but because he has blossomed in his own unique time. As a Black queer woman, I approach parenting with a heightened awareness of the historical weight carried by Black boys. They have often been the repositories of their mothers' pain, stepping into roles as surrogate spouses, fathers, brothers, and the embodiment of our hopes to mend fractured relationships with our own fathers. I have been determined to shield my son from this legacy.

I wanted my son to grow up tender, unburdened by the toxic stereotypes that enforce rigid notions of masculinity and misogyny. I didn't want to push him towards liking a particular gender or teach him that he must always be strong and stoic. I wanted him to feel free to express his emotions, to cry if he needed to, and to explore his identity without the weight of societal expectations or the pressure to be anyone's savior or unfulfilled dream.

Creating a nurturing space for him has been a labor of love. It meant challenging the messages that told him to be anything other than his true, loving self. It hasn't always been easy, but every moment has been worth it.

Recently, as I watched him accept a loving invitation to prom from his sister, I felt a profound sense of pride and relief. He is finding his way, growing into a person who embodies kindness and authenticity. This journey has reaffirmed my belief that our boys deserve the freedom to be fully human, to grow beyond the constraints of outdated stereotypes and expectations.

Let’s commit to raising our boys not just to fit into the mold of what society deems a man, but to embrace their full humanity.