My Sister From Another Mother

Today I pause to acknowledge a beautiful black woman that has been a part of my life for 17 years. The mere notion that two black women who met when they were young, relatively immature, and still learning to love themselves, yet have managed to witness the evolution of one another, is impressive. I met Kupae [ coo-pay] when we were both newly married (at the time, I was married to a man), and we were both attending the same church, trying to create the “perfect heteronormative life” or at least one that felt worthy of what society thought of us. We immediately hit it off because when you show up as your authentic self, even as you have so much more to learn, the core of your friendship is immediately cemented.

As women, wives, and mothers, we often don’t realize that as we age, we understand, but as we know, we evolve. Kupae and I were born 8 days apart, representing that when we met, it solidified a new beginning, and we’ve had our share. She has seen me through a failed marriage, being a single mother, while witnessing me re-marry and evolve into the woman I am today. We have raised our children together, cheered one another on as we finished college, encouraged one another through the perils of merging blended families, sent our kids off to college, held one another up through difficult moments, and all of these things help to make our bond stronger. Kupae is genuinely a sister, not a friend, but a woman with whom I have shared time and space as we both learn the importance of loving ourselves.

This picture is the most recent and one of many from the archives. Today is her birthday, and what better way than to share her with the world? What people don’t realize is that your character is shaped by the people that are around you. How you carry yourself and handle others is a mere reflection of whom you have allowed to hold you accountable. Despite Kupae being from another state, I have realized that nothing could have made us closer. We share similar backgrounds and struggles, but at the heart of it all, we are two black women who love, support and encourage black women. So today, I salute this queen (one of many in my life). We are women that run with wolves, fiercely love our families, and will stop at nothing to be whom God has called us to be. In the words of Andre3000, “nothing’s more attractive than a heavy praying woman.”