Mothering

This is my mother + we are re-building what it looks like to be in relationship with one another. When you are desperately “over parented” you spend most of your life in conflict with your caregivers/parents realizing that you never had the option to relax. You ingest anxiety in every interaction always wondering who your mother really is + if she ever desired to be her own woman. It has taken all of my mother’s life + mine to come to a place where we both release the weight of our undue expectations regarding the life we wanted. She didn’t have it to give + I don’t think she wanted to because historically black mothers didn’t have the time to extend love. Grief colored the tone of my mother’s voice leaving most interactions virtually impossible.

Depression was a regular visitor in our home + has since moved to my side of town; however, we are blessed not to live in the same neighborhood. It’s amazing the quality of life you can have when you just surrender. My mother has a better quality of life + we both still need mothering; yet it doesn’t interfere with our relationship anymore. I admit that if I didn’t do my work, I would drown in my mother’s guilt of how she did her very best + me desiring to pry her last piece of dignity out of her hands. It wouldn’t be good for either of us.

So today we love each other from a space of daily healing from our pass by respecting each other. Life is complicated + every time you get a chance to heal a relationship you “give thanks” fully acknowledging the Creator is indeed faithful in all things.