Deep love measured over time

This picture is a moment of love. Deep love. Measured over moments of struggle + sometimes immense joy. I am learning to enjoy the view. Consume every moment of every second as I watch my daughter become a woman. As she emerges from the residue of trauma from two parents who collided without understanding the capacity of ushering an entire soul earth side. Its complicated! I wait patiently as she wonders will she be like me. I observe her as she begs Spirit to release her from the shackles of my life. I see her. I comfort her daily returning her to herself, the original design. I return to me as well….as I re-mother the broken parts of me.

I pray daily that the she doesn’t step on the broken parts of my fractured wounds. I tend to leave pieces of me around the house so that I can remember who I am + most importantly who I used to be. I don’t dwell anymore, I praise God for the truth I can speak of. It pierces those of us that haven’t been able to acknowledge the damage. We black folks are complicated! We are still unpacking the pain of our past when measured up against a dark past. I choose to remain hopeful as I speak candidly of my journey through motherhood + other various constructs. I remain alive when I surrender to an open heart.

This moment is surreal. Canada is headed to high school + we are both trying to remain tender with one another. No one speaks of the relationships that parents have with their children + how we have learned how to shrink in front of “authority.” No one dare utters the pain some of us have experienced by just trying to remain vulnerable. No one even whispers the mixed messages we are unlearning that we packaged as love. I am rebranding my experience when I look at my daughter with sincerity + always remembering to ask for forgiveness.