CanadaTheGreat, Don't Forget To Love Yourself!

Being a mother raising a daughter, you quickly realize where your deficits are. Girls become a mirror for the wounded mother that wasn’t loved by their mother outwardly or validated by their father. Girls become a reflection of everything their mothers didn’t learn because shame crippled the generation before them. Girls become an image of all your wishes while at the same time becoming your triggers. I was a black girl that wasn’t accepted. Not because my mother didn’t want to, but because she didn’t have it mirrored back to her in a tangible way that led her to believe it was attainable. My mother didn’t think she could carry such a heavy mantle, so she dropped it, and I graciously picked it up, but not without some scars.

I have earned my stripes as a black mother, no doubt. I tell any woman that the smile I carry costs me. Motherhood is a street fight designed for black mothers who overcame the burdens of their mothers. I am unwavering about my love for my children because I understand that motherhood for black women has always been political. It was my job to heal so that I could support my daughter as she navigates her sexuality. It was my responsibility to emancipate her from the expectations that society tries to project onto black girls, convincing them that their only job is to follow in their mother’s footsteps, marry, have kids, and support some man while he achieves his goals. My job was raising a woman who would eventually run with wolves.

This picture is from my daughter celebrating her partner’s birthday. An opportunity to lean into whom she is becoming while figuring out who I never got to be. Life is eerily ironic in that if we could live life backward, we would see how we could set up our children to fail. We could witness our potential shortcomings and run interference for all the mistakes that were going to be made on their journey to minimize collateral damage. We could protect our children from heartache while creating our version of the life we “think” they should live. However, this life is unforgiving and often brutal, yet magical as fuck, and if I am sincere, it can be painful sometimes. Still, every moment shapes us into the beautiful human beings we were always meant to be. So this part of my life is called “evolution.” At the same time, I am facilitating my kids’ growth and working on even more challenges to free them from any generational burden that could interfere with their greatness. Until then, CanadaTheGreat and CJ are the life of this party!