Staying

I’ve never seen commitment modeled + I wouldn’t recognize it even if it was mirrored daily. I’ve witnessed so many poor examples that even the finest illustrations fall short of my expectation. I am critical of so-called relationships that represent this false sense of excelling. I am not impressed by relationships that hide behind busy children + elaborate hobbies + quiet filters. I am not fascinated by the years together when you reside in separate rooms + live isolated lives. It’s a thing!

I’ve witnessed people in my family stay for currency + resources + being co-dependently attached. I’ve observed friends stay for sex + addictions + halfhearted excuses. I’ve even seen people stay for fear + unresolved trauma coupled with dysfunctional obligations. Somehow we stroll out of our houses daily, rejoice when friends get engaged + cheer when our friends meet someone; yet no one ever considers the cost to stay in love.

To stay in love is laborious + extremely expensive. Its asking for forgiveness + being mature enough to remain steadfast when moments carry the weight of all the others that left. Its speaking in tones you’ve never heard + cultivating honesty in an effort to preserve the foundation of your unions. Its acknowledging your faults + working diligently to be your best self. Its realizing that trauma is like being a recovering addict; fully understanding that you are always recovering. Its enduring long nights + early mornings. Its removing all options to leave when no one taught you how to stay. Its leaning into the pain of redefining a love that gently nudges you into a safe space where healing + adoration truly resides.