Finding Peace

I’ve been trying to nestle into a new space, find solace in fulfilling work, create the marriage I never saw while raising secure children. Looking for a gentle place where security is a constant, love is mirrored daily + my children can thrive is a delicate balancing act. It’s seems effortless as I ravel off years of rhetoric coupled with theories doused in all the residencies I attended just to be able to apply knowledge to my own life. The mere fact that I can write such a candid narrative is evidence that the scars of my ancestors are being healed.

I come from people who worked because of necessity, divorced because of abuse + injured because of frustration + ignorance. I share my life because of the people who hid to cover shame, lied to benefit themselves + abandoned their families due to the weight of responsibility. I speak truth from my belly to free my ancestors that were slaves, to rewrite my parent’s history + accomplish goals that were robbed from everyone in my lineage. I love from a space of deep hurt that was emotionally manipulated to believe it was safe; yet I chose to salvage what was left.

Daily I walk around serenity, caressing the pain of recycled trauma; unpacking all of the generational pathologies that left us like wounded animals, maimed + aggressive longing for a deeper connection. Every day, I grab the sound of my hearts fears + tuck them nicely in a box above my bed as a reminder of my power. Lately, I have been craving the sun on my face as it calls for a new day of reconciliation of life’s misgivings. As I rewrite the history of my elders, I am slowly finding peace + tenderness in every moment.