Always On

When I walk into a room oftentimes I am cloaked in numerous statistics, concealed by my accolades, + accosted by an overzealous presumptuous person who often feels like I don’t belong. Sometimes I am even exhausted from the door by the frequent questions that only demand the need for my respect or the lack thereof. Moreover, I am never surprised when I have to overlook someone for thinking that their effort with cross-cultural dialogue has now yielded recognition for something they are still unpacking. It’s a thing!

As a black, queer, woman I am always reminded that things are different. I am clear that the rules are derived from an antiquated system that no longer works; yet we wonder why the results are the same. I am not concerned about the statistics that are etched in my throat reminding me of the inequality that consistently precedes me. Therefore, when given an opportunity to engage in necessary conversations; I never hesitate to lead with my truth in an effort to decipher one’s true intention.  

Being on is not an option for black people who desire to take up space in the world. Unfortunately, we carry the weight of too sensitive people that are always in their feelings. We tend to bestow half-hearted handkerchiefs for questions that were posed to us under the guise of care + concern. So the next time you witness a group of black people taking a break from the weight of being on; smile + nod fully understanding the relationship you desire will come at the expense of empathy + consideration. In the words of an African Proverb, “Do not expect to be offered a chair when you are visiting a place where the chief sits on the floor."