Thank you 2018

Life is mysterious + magical in the most ironic way. It can be filled with deep sadness; yet infused with the most exuberant moments. My existence was tested this year when I was met with the challenge of being married + navigating a long distance relationship while my wife wrapped up her old life to build a new one with me.  My entire creation was questioned when I made the decision to remove my mother from my life while being an only child with an estranged father. Meanwhile, the ancestors were working on my behalf as I was navigating the laborious process of purchasing my first home. Not to mention, I was on the cusp of turning 40 + not a minute too soon. Evolution was demanding a more resolved woman that didn’t consume the room upon entrance with heavily weighted credentials but a voice doused in quiet strength determined to chart her own path.  

Furthermore, my children were demanding more of me as an individual as they requested the unadulterated truth. They longed for me to be a woman who stood up for herself, a woman that loved in the face of adversity + a woman that yelled to be free in the face of excruciating sacrifice. I felt it! My desire to do more in the world required me to come out of a shell that I vowed to remain in indefinitely. I was reminded constantly, that my truth was choking me + I needed to speak it as if I was the one summoning it. So I did what any frightening person would do, I jumped!

So now as I stand on the ledge of 2018 debating on whether I am ready for 2019, I lace up my sneakers, zip up of my hoodie + take a deep breath fully knowing that I have whatever it takes even if I don’t feel it in this moment.  Even more, I smile with sweet anticipation realizing that the road for me has already been paved.  So with a heart full of abundance + a mind crystal clear with intentions, I grab a hand full of gratitude + just enough ambition to enter into a brand new year. I am looking forward to building more intimate relationships, the kind that gather around tables to enjoy sustenance + surround each other during moments of tragedy. I am excited about cultivating kinships that travel for miles just to share a hug or just a few seconds to send snail mail. The next time we meet it will be a new year with a new expectation so remember to share yourself like you have no secrets + you’ve never been hurt. You owe it to yourself to just live!