The Power of Commitment

“Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no mystery that it takes an unusual amount of work to make a relationship work. As a matter of fact, I am convinced the strength of your relationship does not surface until two completely different individuals are nestled underneath the same roof seemingly living life.  Meanwhile there is always the weight of reality that settles on the cracks of your delicate foundation as you pray that the structure doesn’t give under massive pressure; yet we strategically construct elaborate plans to pursue elusive #relationshipgoals. The truth is relationships are not merely some make-shift perfunctory union; rather it is an intentionally crafted business that decides to make things work.

Relationships are developed through the burden of shouldering the constant pain of devastation that your spouse inflicts through the painful process of healing past wounds. Relationships are established by listening to the needs of your spouse while trying to accomplish your goals without completely abandoning yourself. Relationships are shaped during heavy moments of misunderstandings when everyone wants to dismantle the union; yet something quells the moment for the sake of the greater good. Relationships are fostered through silence and prayer when words can no longer be spoken.  Make no mistake relationships are manufactured; homegrown from a deep sense of unwavering commitment to something bigger than the two individuals.

The misconception of relationships is that they don’t require work and consistent nurturing. The commitment is in the decision to stay during the fragile seasons of shattered promises and unforgiving realities. Ironically, relationships are tested during moments that leave both individuals exposed and questioning everything you learned about love. The growth of relationships is never determined by the courtship, but the numerous decisions for each individual to work on themselves.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage and all that it allows a person to be. I am learning to deliberately stand in love by committing to my wife during moments that feel uncertain and extremely frightening. I am facing my fears of failed relationships coupled with broken promises as my wife struggles to unpack misplaced inadequacies doused in pride. Collectively, we are learning how to advocate for each other and simultaneously affirm ourselves. Most importantly, we are committed to healing those broken parts of ourselves from childhood.

I believe when you make a decision to walk through life with another individual, you conveniently make a decision to grow up in the face of delayed prayers and crumbled aspirations. The reality is that discord lingers in between progress and tension; however love is the envelope full of joy that you stash next to you bed when you make it through each day unscathed.